My family & I went to church ( I really don't even like that term"went to church"... aren't we The Church? ... another topic for another day perhaps!)
So, at church God had plans to not only meet me there BUT He had in mind a lesson (or two) that I needed to learn, relearn AND implement.
My heart hurt for someone VERY close to me! I was in full on PROTECT mode! (Read: bulldog with lipstick!) I felt my loved one was mistreated! Dealt with MOST unfairly. In fact, I think that BECAUSE it was a "church setting" the affront stung even more.
I wanted an explanation!
I wanted clarification!
I WANTED IT TO HAVE NOT OCCURED!
During the main assembly I did all I could to sit! I could not sing. I felt to do so would totally NOT honor God. Add to the fact that when I hear singing and I am at all "tender" of heart, I cry!!! So that is what I did! CRY! ALOT!
Afterward we , came home, instead of our usual lunching with friends.
My darling Hubby and I had some HARD heart-to-heart talks! Voices raised! MORE tears shed!
I felt ALONE! My husband & I could NOT agree! I am used to that! BUT, I wanted...no NEEDED to have him understand me,my heart. I didn't care if we disagreed, I just wanted to be understood! I wanted "my side" of things validated.
Fast forward about two hours...
Hubby & I talked ... I ask to be held, supported. I reiterated that he did NOT have to agree with, just hold me. Support me! (THAT is hard for me to do... to be so vulnerable...YES! even in front of my husband.)
Tears still came but now they were cleansing. I prayed. I quieted myself.
I felt The Spirit bringing Scripture to mind. Such as ... " don't grumble against each other, brothers,or you will be judged..." James 5:7
Also, "say only what will edify or uplift the one who hears" paraphrased
Then, I recalled when Jesus was accused. He was silent.
When He was asked what should be done with/about the woman "caught" in adultery ...
He squatted and wrote in the sand!
Whoa! and WOE! I GOT IT!!!!!!!!
I needed to do NOTHING!!
I needed to say NOTHING!
I needed to defend NOTHING!
So, you can find me... in MY sandbox!
Next time you have an urge to "SAY" ............ come join me !!!